‘Self-regulation’ is a well-known phrase in early years. It’s mentioned in the EYFS Framework, Early Learning Goals and the Early Years Ofsted handbook.
But what does self-regulation really mean? And what strategies can you use to help the toddlers in your nursery to self-regulate?
We cover it all in this article! No confusing jargon, just 7 self-regulation strategies to implement in your nursery.
In this article:
How is self-regulation developed?
It’s not something children are born knowing. Self-regulation develops over time with guidance from adults and practice, practice, practice.
The skills to be able to self-regulate comes with brain development. The science behind self-regulation must be understood by your practitioners to help children develop in a way that aligns with their developmental stage.
Clinical psychologist Dr Dunster-Page warns practitioners that the way to support PSED development is through modelling, not through any actions that will result in the child feeling shame. To develop self-regulation, children must be able to learn through trial and error.
We must also appreciate the children you are working with are below five. Expectations of self-regulation levels should be in line with their development.
There is a science to self-regulation to be aware of. Knowledge about how the brain develops, and processes emotions is essential to supporting children to self-regulate.
What helps self-regulation in early years?
We can often think of self-regulation as being calm in situations of stress. But there’s a lot more to it than just staying calm.
EYFS PSED activities are obviously a great way to develop understanding of themselves and others. Things like routines, calm spaces, and partner games can also help children to self-regulate.
Why do toddlers need to build this skill? Strong self-regulation skills set them up for success in primary school and beyond, helping with friendships, concentration, and emotional well-being.
Why do we teach self-regulation in early years?
Aside from the personal skills children develop, self-regulation is a requirement for nurseries to teach.
The EYFS Framework on self-regulation:
Children should be supported to manage emotions, develop a positive sense of self, set themselves simple goals, have confidence in their own abilities, to persist and wait for what they want and direct attention as necessary.
The Early Learning Goals on self-regulation, as part of Personal, Social and Emotional Development:
- Show an understanding of their own feelings and those of others, and begin to regulate their behaviour accordingly;
- Set and work towards simple goals, being able to wait for what they want and control their immediate impulses when appropriate;
- Give focused attention to what the teacher says, responding appropriately even when engaged in activity, and show an ability to follow instructions involving several ideas or actions.
Ofsted on self-regulation:
As expected, Ofsted also monitor how well nurseries support self-regulation, independence and resilience. Here’s the guidance from the current Outstanding grade descriptors for behaviours and attitudes, although this will change in Autumn 2025 with the latest Ofsted changes.
Children demonstrate high levels of self-control and consistently keep on trying hard, even if they encounter difficulties. When children struggle with this, leaders and practitioners take intelligent, swift and highly effective action to support them.
Teaching self-regulation isn’t just about keeping the peace in the classroom– it’s about giving children the skills to navigate challenges, build relationships, and thrive.
7 self-regulation strategies for EYFS
Next up, we’re diving into the practical strategies your nursery can use to support self-regulation in a meaningful way. While simple breathing exercises are a great start, we’ll go beyond that to explore a whole-setting approach.
We’ll look at how play, relationships, sensory activities, and even your daily routines can help children develop these vital skills.
1. Environment and routine
Creating a calm, structured environment with a predictable routine is one of the best ways to support self-regulation in early years settings.
Young children thrive when they know what to expect, as it helps them feel safe, secure, and in control. A well-organised space with clear boundaries and designated areas for different activities can reduce stress and encourage independence.
Consider:
- Calm down areas for emotional regulation
- Predictable routines
- Consistent communication with parents (especially surrounding changes in routine)
- Making your nursery environment a sensory-friendly space (using softer lighting, different textiles, textures and plenty of sensory play options)
- Promote independent skills like tidying up
- Give warnings before transitions
2. Visual schedule and communication
Visual schedules and clear communication are fantastic tools for helping children self-regulate, especially those who aren’t yet talking. Using picture-based schedules or PECS (Picture Exchange Communication System) gives children a way to understand what’s happening next, reducing anxiety and frustration.
Try a now and next board for activities. It reduces the amount of information to process rather than a whole-day schedule and can help with developing the concept of time.
3. Name and recognise emotions
The popular film Inside Out (U rating) is perfect for recognising different emotions and the role they have. Teaching children to look for facial expressions, body language, and tone of voice helps them understand emotions in themselves and others, which is key for building empathy, friendships, and self-regulation.
4. Stories about self-regulation
Storytime is a great way to support self-regulation in early years, as it helps children learn about emotions, decision-making, and self-control in a fun and engaging way.
Through stories, children can see characters navigating different feelings – whether it’s a character learning to be patient, managing frustration, or making good choices.
Stories helps toddlers to understand their own emotions and gives them guidance on how respond to them. Plus, the act of listening to a story, waiting for their turn to speak, and following along strengthens essential self-regulation skills.
5. Breathing techniques for EYFS
Breathing techniques are a fun and simple way to help toddlers slow down, focus, and regulate their emotions – all without needing any extra resources.
Here are three of our favourites to try:
Flower and candle breathing
Ask children to imagine holding a flower in one hand and a candle in the other. They breathe in deeply to smell the flower and breathe out slowly to blow out the candle.
Square breathing
Guide children to trace an imaginary square in the air or on their hand. Then breathe in for four counts (side 1), hold for four (side 2), breathe out for four (side 3), and hold for four (side 4).
You can also use any shape with four sides to remove the need for abstract thinking, like a table top, a window or a book.
Finger breaths
Have children hold up one hand and trace up and down each finger with their other hand. Breathe in going up a finger, breathe out going down, moving through all five fingers for five slow breaths.
When you recognise children using these strategies themselves, you know you’ve cracked it! Record their self-regulation skills on your Blossom EYFS tracker.
6. Turn-taking games for toddlers
Learning to wait for their turn, share resources, and follow simple rules helps children manage their emotions and build positive social interactions. Water and sand play are perfect for this because they’re engaging, sensory-rich, and naturally encourage teamwork.
Here are some ideas to get you started:
Bucket fill-up
Take turns scooping sand or water into a shared bucket until it’s full. Great for teamwork and patience!
Water pouring relay
One child pours water into a funnel or container, then passes the cup to the next child. They all wait and watch as the water level rises.
Joint artists
Each child will add something to a large piece of paper, this could be a handprint, a paint splatter or by sticking some collage materials. The turn-taking can also be a great segue into compliment giving and celebrating the talents of others.
7. Relationship building
Strong relationships are at the heart of self-regulation. When children feel safe, supported, and understood, they’re better able to manage their emotions and behaviour. It is essential your nursery uses positive behaviour management strategies to guide children through their emotional development.
We’d also recommend that your team are confident in supporting children and families who have experienced trauma.
Friendships with other children help little ones practice sharing, problem-solving, and understanding emotions in others, all key self-regulation skills.
And let’s not forget the vital partnership between the nursery team and parents. When practitioners and families work together, children experience consistency, making it easier to regulate emotions at home and on nursery days.
Want to learn more about how to build strong parent-nursery relationships through communication? Blossom’s award-winning Parent App makes communication simple, building the lasting relationships needed for exceptional child development.
